Malingering Stormtroopers and Employee Incentive Packages

A veg-out session of watching Star Wars movies and flipping through some Harvard Business Reviews the other night caused me to have an epiphany; that the stormtroopers seem to be easier to take down than Halloween decorations on Thanksgiving, but why? Sure working for the Galatic Empire has a multitude of perks like free food, clothing, and housing. Yet, these employees are under a "perform or die" obligation. This and the inhouse knowledge that even the lifelong loyal members of the Empire are choked to death by Lord Vader probably give a reason for any low-level stormtrooper to ask "what's my motivation to be at my best all the time?" Typically an employee that is overworked will seek out rest and avoidance of further engagement of stressors, in this case possibly by trying to be excused from physical tasks and that's why stormtroopers can be so easily defeated at every turn. Or in other words, the stormtroopers are over it and have no reason to do their jobs because the Empire's job culture sucks. Taking that into consideration, let's unpack this concept of stormtroopers trying to find a way to be out of a job.


Some background on the stormtrooper life that will give great insight into their lack of motivation when dealing with squirrely rebel forces in confrontations is that they are overly punished for failures from the beginning, have low career advancement opportunities, are offered no paid off time and have a serious gap in retirement options. This altogether makes for a perfect combination of an "I don't care" attitude and gives any stormtrooper reason to drop down during conflict as opposed to fighting for the Galatic Empire. Some may argue that the Empire offers cult-like mental conditioning to motivate stormtroopers to be as committed to the cause as possible but using the example of Finn, these conditioning tactics have weak points in their ability to exact trooper influence. As well-financed as the Empire maybe, the trickle down to the stormtroopers has yet to be seen and even the most loyal of followers have to ask "what's in this for me?" at times. In the specific case of the dying to fail stormtroopers, the problem lies in the fact that they are on the bottom rung of valued employees among the Empire's ranks.


The life of a stormtrooper is rough enough. They are generally either cloned or drafted into the fighting force as child-soldiers for the Galatic Empire, although some are recruited too. The Galatic Empire has forgotten that forced compliance can never be translated into forced excellence. Of course, anyone who has studied successful military tactics knows the two points split from reality and expectation when put into play. Meaning that the Empire needs to move fully into recruiting efforts and lay to rest the child labor and clone programs, lest a disgruntled employee situation brings the whole operation down from the inside (*cough* Rogue One* cough *Galen Erso). In all likelihood, the Galatic Empire could use a sturdier human resources department. Being an evil corporation is no excuse for operational mismanagement, and the Empire really needs to get the employee complaint process handled correctly.


All things considered, a suggested method to manage the eagerness to fail in the stormtroopers is to reward success. Employees, even low-level ones need to be encouraged to maximize productivity This could be dealt with by creating employee incentive packages that need to consist of more than ideology as an incentive or fear of punishment. After all, everyone makes mistakes and if a well-intentioned employee is punished for extenuating circumstances that caused their work to suffer, their want to keep up the good work will likely dissipate. That means HR is going to have to have a sitdown with Lord Vader about his choking habits on the clock, and a third party complaint moderator would be recommended to navigate communication. Also, again, the Empire should seriously consider company perks as a means of employee morale building. Paid company resort visits and the like could be a form of a benefits package that gives more add-ons as the employee moves up the rung of Empire's ranks.


This all totals to the Empire learning the importance of paying their people and to pay them well or they will have to deal with those that phone it in on the job. Stormtroopers may be the most expendable of the Empire's assets, but that does not that mean that a sinkhole of lost time and budgetary needs should be expected from their lack of value to the Empire's cause. For each failed stormtrooper the Empire is set back just a little more. Proper incentive packages and advancement mobility in the Empire's company culture are a must. What do you think? Would you work for the Empire if you got more paid vacations or would you play dead at every battle like the stormtroopers do? Leave your comments in the Conspiracy Meow! forums to give your thoughts on the matter and as always, Let Your Inner Shut In Totally Wig Out!