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Taco Ballz Deep- Chapter Five: It's Glitter Time

"Godlessness! It's all because of the Godlessness in this country!" Pete said to Chris who had stopped in after the dinner rush to use the restroom and complain about the near riot on the front lawn that afternoon. Una was pretending to be engaged in their conversation as she discreetly handed some boxed Taco Ballz to one of the hobos who had asked for a snack when he was awake from behind the dumpster at the drive-thru window.


Miro poking fun at the missionaries asked how many converts they had that day. Chris shook his head in dismay, saying, "Not one yet, but I think we're close in this neighborhood." Miro looked back at Una and then at the Tilted Beaver next door, whose lights were flashing hot pink and orange. Una wanting them to go because they were making the last of the customers of the night feel uncomfortable suggested, "Why not try there?" she pointed to the strip club. Pete blushed and Chris answered, "There's naked women in there. We can't go in." Miro once again being an instigator of mischief said, "They're wearing glitter and have to have their private parts covered as regulated by the state. Besides they need saving the most. You're not going to let boobs scare you away from stopping hellfire from getting those poor innocent women?" Chris and Pete murmured to each other aside from Una and Miro. Una could make out Pete saying something to Chris along the lines of "I wanted the first woman I see to be on my wedding night." Chris interrupted saying, "Stop complaining. You think I'm happy? I saw my grandmother's first." The back and forth ended with them deciding to go into the Tilted Beaver. Miro of course offered his day's tip money for their cover fee.


Once they had left Una looked at Miro and asked, "Do you think they'll run out as soon as they go in?" Miro laughing about his contributions to the silliness said, "I don't know but I'm going to watch." With that, he went to the front, flipped the sign to "closed," and locked the front door after pushing out the last customer. Then he turned to Una and said "Come with me. This will be fun." Una looking down at her yellow polo and black leggings wiped off the crumbs from her day of work and walked with Miro across the street. She liked doing things with Miro. The way he took the lead made her very attracted to him. The bouncer posted at the strip club door whose name stage read, Jack, was holding Chris and Pete from going in until Miro slipped him a large bill and told him he'd make sure the two men weren't any trouble. The bouncer told Miro, "Okay, but I'm telling Eddy it's all on you." Miro agreed and the group walked in.


This wasn't the first time Una had been in a strip club before. Her last roommate was a stripper who always needed a ride home from work, causing Una to be a regular in the dressing room of the Silkie Pooner. That was until her roommate moved to Las Vegas at the end of the tourist season. It was different to be in the front of the show though. Inside there were a few men scattered at tables. A woman was on stage dancing to an inaudible 80s rock ballad. Another one was giving a lap dance to a man wearing a Ford Mustang leather jacket, and a few more were at the bar. Una went straight to the bar to order a root beer float and some chicken wings. Miro slapping Chris and Pete's backs told them to get to it while he requested a lap dance. Eddy, the club's owner greeted Miro and waved for his best girls to service him. Miro told Chris and Pete to try to convert the dancers who were working him over. Una looking at them from the bar laughed at the sight of two men trying to read their religious texts to three women rubbing themselves up and down a very relaxed Miro.


By the time Miro was out of singles, Una walked over to him and offered the rest of her chicken wings, which were a bit too spicy for her liking. He accepted and had one of the finished strippers, Purty, bring him a beer, which was comped by Eddy. Eddy of course was getting the run down on Taco Ballz, which was officially out of business. Chris and Pete all the while were doing their best to only look at the floor and spit whatever missionary knowledge they could at the strippers. Eddy seeing the joke that Miro was pulling told Pete that the women were more likely to listen to his message if he had a lap dance of his own because then they would be face to face. Eddy then had Ms. O ride him while he tried to focus on converting her. Halfway through the dance, Ms. O corrected Pete on his quote because she was from the same domination as he was and had used a secular version of the text. "Also you aren't pronouncing that right either, it's a hard u."Pete looked at her in surprise and said, "Wait, Odetta? Is that you?" She smiled and nodded as she continued her dance saying, "You know, I always had a crush on you, Pete."


Chris was off by the stage looking at the dancer who was working the pole spin in her sparkly high heels. Seeing him she twerked on the stage floor so that he had a front view of her g-string. Una was almost done with her root beer float when the bouncer whispered something to Eddy who was sitting next to Miro who then yelled, "Taco Ballz is on fire!" Pointing to Taco Ballz which was fully ablaze. Miro and Una dropped what they were doing and ran across the street, leaving Pete and Chris behind.

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