Shabby Ways to Avoid People

For one reason or another, I can be a real jerk from time to time or people can be the same to me. Being that I am not the greatest in all social situations, this can cause more hiccups than I would like to openly admit too. Nonetheless, this is my shortened list of rude ways that I fled a conversation that was coming right at me. One of these is something that I am not too proud of myself, but the other is what I felt was necessary. Read on and write what you think in the Conspiracy Meow! forums or on our social media page to say what you would have done. Or write about your own conversation escape techniques. Let's dive in.


1) Playing dead


I finally had gotten to live in the nice highrise apartment complex in the metro area. It had an indoor pool, a proper gym, plus an in-unit laundry and a fireplace. The problem was that it was far beyond my own price range and to offset the cost I had to get a roommate. Fearing the worst after seeing too many LifeTime movies I asked a friend if they knew anyone that would be a good fit. She told me about one of her ex's who was "too nice" but always was flush with money from his job and that she would pass along his number to me. He seemed perfect, we had the same expectations for how the place should be managed and we hit it right off. It wasn't long after he moved in that I realized what my friend had meant when she said he was too nice. He had a work from home job and was in the apartment at least 23 hours a day. He was dying for social interaction and I was the only person he had within sight. When I got home from work there he was at the door, telling me about the barking dog next door. When I ate dinner he was there too, telling me about his first time eating spicy food. When I was in the shower he was on the other side of the bathroom door telling me about his feelings on the construction of the Hoover Dam. As nice as he was and as much as I respected his need for social interaction, it was a lot to handle by myself. When I woke up in the morning he was outside of my door telling me the weather report. It was nonstop. After a little while, I started to play dead when I needed a break from him. If I were eating dinner I would go into my room and if he followed me I would pretend to nod off. The same went for if I were watching a movie and he wouldn't stop telling me about a Twitter war he had gotten into. Eventually, he assumed that I had narcolepsy and told me to tell the DMV or he would. He was too much of a price to bear and I moved out, leaving him the apartment. I think he married his next roommate, oh well, there's someone for everyone I guess.


2) Climbing out of a window at a night club


While working in an urgent care clinic I had a great rapport going with the other women who I worked with. There was only one male on our shift. He was apart of the logistics side of the business and he was not very popular with most of the other staff. His job was to restock the rooms at lunch and at the end of the day, to reorder supplies as needed, and to go to the main office warehouse when we were out of anything in the building as a whole, which was often. Yet in spite of any urge to ensure his own job security, he would refuse to do any of that, and rather he would sit at the front desk and scroll Amazon or talk about how funny it was that he can upset his pregnant wife. One morning after a long weekend a nurse burst into the clinic lobby for her shift wearing a massive engagement ring. We were all so happy about her upcoming nuptials we planned to have a big night on the town. Our planned girls' night was the talk of the clinic all week long. The nonfunctioning supply dude asked if he could go and he was denied by every person who he asked. Before you assume that we were cruel, he was married and had a pregnant wife who he openly planned to cheat on and would hit on every female he worked with all while telling them to do his job for him. When the girls' night had arrived I was chatting with a friend at the bar and when I glance over there was the supply guy to the right of me. My friend shrieked when she realized he had crashed our night. He was so obnoxious that he had this trick he did where he would knock his beer bottle under your's and it would cause your bottle to bubble over and spill all over you. He did that to me once before at a staff BBQ and I smelled like beer until I got home and showered off. If a person could be as unlikable as a rash, it was this guy. We went to leave and he jogged in front of us while saying "Don't think you can ditch me this early, we have a whole night ahead of us!" I threw my hands in the air and said: "you got me, I'm just going to the restroom before I go to the next place." The one place he couldn't follow us was the bathroom and I crawled right out that window. My friend, on the other hand, said she would just have the bouncer throw him out, but I wasn't taking my chances. A guy who had been avoided as much as he would know to wait until we left to follow us to the next place. I jumped from that window and twisted my ankle when I hit the ground, it was worth it. My friend told me the next day that I was right and he tagged along with her the whole night like the smell of dog crap on the bottom of a shoe.