top of page

Micro-Dosing Bella

Bella is not that special of a character for me in either the book or the film series that make up the franchise that is Twilight. Maybe it's that she doesn't seem that bright or that she goes along with a group of strangers who tell her that they are vampires a little too easily. Still, no one can deny that the story had a following. If only there were more angles to view the material from? Oh, wait, I exist so let's take the story apart and put a spin on it for fun. What if vampires and werewolves aren't real in Forks, Washington but instead that Bella is an ignorant girl who is being micro-dosed by the Cullen family to cover for their drug-dealing empire. Follow me on this one, I'm about to make some points to back my theory up.

How can no one notice how odd the Cullens are but Bella? The Cullens have too much money for a family that lives in the Pacific Northwest even for a doctor's family. The average doctor in that area makes at most roughly $100,000 annually. That may sound like a lot, but Washington state is no cheap place to live and the Cullens live the high life there like millionaires in every way. The situation is probably that they have a hefty money flow not from being immortal, but from something more realistic, yet only Carlise has a job that is taxable anyway.

The need to address the lack of consuming human blood should come up too when discussing the fictional Cullen family. Wouldn't one of them slip up or sneak a nibble at some point? Even avid dieters have a cheat day. Plus heavy drug users like the other vampires might eat people, I mean Bath Salts right?

The motivation as to why the Cullens have invested time and energy into the vampire ruse is simple. Bella's dad is a cop and the Cullens need to get in his good graces, by being close or at least distracting him from what's really going on. How else could they know what he is planning and have access to all local police business? Dating Bella is the best method to keep their friends close and their enemies closer.

In this theory, it is possible that Jacob hates the Cullens because he knows their secret and they might be rivals in the drug trade competing for territory. Also, other vampires may be either in on the drug trade or competing as well. The Volturi would be the kingpins in this organization. The clueless Bella is thinking that the vampires move fast, climb trees like magic and that Edward is shiny. All the while her dad is more worried that she is dating a jerk than organizing a raid on the suspiciously wealthy family's home. The high Bella would be sobering up by the time Edward drops her off from their dates, causing Bella to think that only the Cullens are enchanted and not anyone else.

So is Edward really all that magical or are his drugs just that strong? We'll never know, but if you go back and rewatch the series it's a way to enjoy the film in a different light. Also, I mean no disrespect to Stephanie Meyer, who did do what every writer wishes which is to see their work released into the world and create a legacy of its own. Thanks, Mrs. Meyer!

bottom of page