Lies About Japan

Narratives, it frames the thinking of people who are interested in a topic that they themselves are not familiar with. If one friend were to ask "is the new yogurt shop any good?" and the other reply "no the countertops have cockroaches all over them" you might not give said yogurt shop a chance even if you've never been there yourself. That is because we tend to want to believe those around us, especially our friends, but what if our friend is steering us wrong to cover their own tracks? That is the trouble with word of mouth, in that the source could be very flawed. In the case of this conspiracy, a false narrative turned out to be so skewed that it was more of a blatant lie. A young man thought that by creating a xenophobic story, he would never have to face his own demons. This is the conspiracy of a person who took things too far and should apologize for the false narrative he spouted about a nation that never did him any harm. This is a conspiracy about a man and the people of Japan.


Phil* started his tale about the good haircuts that he could not receive because of his low pay. At the time he explained that contracted employees where he was working overseas had a way of not making as much money as they had been promised, especially when they were unskilled laborers like he was. Most of the people who worked at his particular organization were poor and had to each go to a particularly cheap place for all of their barbershop needs. This made it all the more obvious when a slacker co-worker would drop in from the weekend with his designer haircut at work every Monday morning. This slacker was as polished as he could be while his comrades were in the most basic of sorts when it came to their belongings. As for the overly funded slacker with the good haircut, it wasn't long before he opened a package that was supposed to be full of cocaine for him to sell on the streets, that instead had a tiny camera that remotely snapped his picture, providing enough evidence for the local police to arrest him on suspicion of drug trafficking. None of that was known to the man's peers except his buddy Phil, who is the focus of this conspiracy.


It was difficult to hash out whether Phil went to the bar before or after his drug dealer friend was busted. In this conspiracy, Conspiracy Meow! is operating under the assumption that it was before. At the bar, Phil had quite the incident. According to his own story, Phil went out and was drugged with an unknown stimulant, which caused him to act erratically and hostile. He was then strapped to a hospital bed for two full days only to go back to his residence where his things were ransacked and stolen. No official actions were taken against Phil, but he did have to end his contract with his company early as a result of what he says was from him being drugged. For years after he returned to the States, Phil complained often of his mistreatment on the island nation. He spoke of his innocence and trying his best to win over the people of Japan who were cruel toward him and wronged him by spiking his drink for no good reason other than hostility. Phil was pitied by all who heard his tale, believing that Phil was never accepted there as he had claimed.


However, this narrative changed when Phil was caught redhanded, or should it be white powdered with cocaine some years later. Phil had a few Charlie Sheen-like incidents when the pandemic hit, much to the surprise of those around him who had no idea he had a substance abuse problem. It came out that Phil was in fact a high-functioning drug addict who preferred stimulants for his drug of choice, specifically cocaine. This information paired with the confession that Phil himself made while picking his dropped bag of cocaine off of the floor one night, that he had been an addict since his high school years suddenly reframed his story entirely. It caused those who knew Phil's depiction of the events to question if Phil had been hospitalized when his own dealer had been incarcerated, leaving him to have to go to less reliable means for his fix that resulted in Phil's bad reaction and subsequent hospital stay. Probably to salvage his reputation, Phil developed a complex tall tale about how the people of Japan had wronged him, which is less and less likely to be true at all.


There is also the possibility that Phil was the one who let the authorities know about the drug dealer on the island. This would mean that if the dealer had not yet been arrested and that Phil fingered him after his botched high that he might have turned the slacker in to save himself from prison. Leaving Phil to have to vacate the island as soon as possible because snitches on an island have a short lifespan. Either way, whether the cowardly Phil used his dealer as a get-out-of-jail-free card or if he had to use his dealer's competitor for business, the falsehoods about Japan are clear. Phil lied to save face by using racism and ignorance to cover for his addiction. The police of Japan probably did all that they could to protect Phil and in return, he made up stories about them. On behalf of the man who will probably never say sorry for all of his wrongs, I send my apologies for him. Japan is a lovely nation. Please don't assume that a person like the man in this conspiracy represents all Westerners who visit. As for those who do go to Japan, please be on your best behavior, there are so many people who make fools of themselves instead of appreciating the beautiful culture and rich history that other nations have to offer.



*Names changed for privacy