Bridezillas are an Algorithm

Wedding season has come and gone. Now that summer is behind us for the most part, I look back on all of the different weddings that I have been to in the past. So far in my life, I have been to every type of wedding except for those practicing the Pagan and Hindu faiths... as of yet (invite me please!). With all the joy that times like watching two people committing in love to one another bring, the memory that sticks out like a sore thumb is the memory of a traditional Western wedding that tends to make me frown though. Not because of the over the top, too bloated of a budget trend that became tacky a few years ago but because it marked the end of a long time friendship. This is the retelling of my former friend's big day.


The bride and groom had apparently met on the dating site Plenty of Fish. He was a chubby virgin and she a bitter wannabe, together they could eat their problems and hate the world. I was asked to take the place of another bride's maid that had bailed to go to Burning Man at the last minute. Taking this as a compliment, I not only joined the other bridesmaids in their wedding support but I did so with giddy excitement. If only I knew then what I know now and that's that the other bridesmaid pulled out for her own self-preservation.


The problem of money was soon very pronounced within the wedding orbit. The bride was overspending constantly. Her spending was not for any specific purpose though. With her family's credit cards and her future inlaws too, the bride was buying any and everything she could get her hands-on and putting her purchases that were left in their original boxes in her small apartment. No effort was up into the actual guest experience causing the bridesmaids to be expected to act as caterers and event staff to all of the bride's whims. Instead of being thankful for having friends who set up and cleaned up after everything for her, the bride refused to publicly acknowledge us as anything other than the "help" during these demeaning exchanges and she habitually wanted us to put our own money into her unreasonable demands.


Although we all showed up for her through to the big day when she had us arrive at the venue four hours early to decorate and again not be acknowledged literally at all because we were supposed to be the help. I knew she had officially become a bridezilla. I wondered why and how a normal person could become unbearable in such a short amount of time and stay that way? This is what I found out in bulleted list of why bridezilla status takes over a person;


-> Crash dieting to fit into a dress that was ordered as much as a year ago.


->Changing birth control to accommodate the new relationship status, either going on a long term or getting off of it completely depending on their family planning.


->Money crunches from overspending, mixed with long hours at work to make up the difference.


->Losing the ability to relate to unmarried friends anymore or worst of all, forgetting other people exist.


->Trying to fulfill a lifelong fantasy to fill an emotional void.